Breakups, we all go through them as we get older. What we don't predict is the emotional roller coaster that's coming for us! Here's the 5 stages of a typical 'girlo breakup'. I've also included a breakup playlist.
Stage 1: The emotional wreck.
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You're balling crying, you need your best friend. They come over and give you 'the pep talk'. You're fine, until they leave. Here come the tears again!
Stage 2: The stalker.
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You go onto his Facebook page every 5 minutes, you know, just incase. You ask yourself all of these questions. "Why hasn't he been online in half an hour? Is he out with another girl?!?! I wonder if he's looking at my Facebook? Why hasn't he text me?!"
You go onto his Facebook page every 5 minutes, you know, just incase. You ask yourself all of these questions. "Why hasn't he been online in half an hour? Is he out with another girl?!?! I wonder if he's looking at my Facebook? Why hasn't he text me?!"
Stage 3: "I don't need no man."
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All you can think is that he's a complete idiot! "What did I ever see in him? Wait, what did I ever see in any man? They're all the exact same!'
Stage 4: "Let's get drunk!"
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You call all of the girls and demand that you're going out. You're single again, this means you don't have to care about who you get with. Of course, you're going to painfully regret that you went near anyone the next morning. Why? You won't remotely remember the night before.
Stage 5: "Why did I come here?"
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You're in the club and drinks are flowing (not the tears for once!). But then you see him. "Ah shite, why did I come to this club? I knew he would be here!" Straight to the girls toilets you go and cry to any other drunken mess that will speak to you. Back to stage 1 you go! Keep that playlist on repeat!
